How do I make new friends as an adult?
I moved to a new city for work and I don't know anyone. Making friends as a kid was easy — you just played with whoever was around. As an adult it feels impossible. Everyone already has their friend groups. Where do adults actually meet new people? How do you go from acquaintance to actual friend?
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My grandmother always said the more things change, the more they stay the same. Every generation thinks the one after it is going to ruin everything, and somehow the world keeps turning. I try to keep that perspective.
6 Answers
My grandmother always said the more things change, the more they stay the same. Every generation thinks the one after it is going to ruin everything, and somehow the world keeps turning. I try to keep that perspective.
I used to have a strong opinion on this and then I lived in another part of the country for a few years and completely changed my mind. Travel does that. What seems obvious where you grew up isn't obvious everywhere.
I'd ask your parents or grandparents how things were when they were your age. You'll be surprised — a lot of what feels brand new today actually happened before in a slightly different form. History rhymes.
This is one of those topics where there's no single right answer — it depends heavily on your values and circumstances. I'd encourage you to look at it from multiple perspectives before forming a strong opinion.
I think the real issue here is that society is changing faster than most people can keep up with. What was normal 20 years ago might be considered outdated now, and what we think is normal today will probably seem old-fashioned in 20 years.
I think kindness goes a long way here. Whatever the 'right' answer is, you can usually find it by treating people the way you'd want to be treated. That old rule still works better than any complicated theory.
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